recently

recently i’ve been trying to stop my old habits
get out of bed immediately and try drinking
green tea, black coffee, more water instead
take shorter, colder showers in the mornings,
and i can say with full conviction
that it’s not exactly my cup of tea
the bitter clashes with my tastebuds,
waking up early leaves my body weak
and i prefer my coffee with sugar and cream
my teas flavored with something else
chai with milk, hot chocolate maybe

but please remember, if you asked me
to make you a hot cup of black coffee
steep the tea for you a little longer
you bet that i’d do my best,
fill the mug to the brim with my love
hand it to you even if it burned my hand
hope that it doesn’t burn your tongue
lay in bed with you a little longer,
take longer, warmer showers,
even if it meant returning to
these old habits of mine, since you are
such a dear habit of mine, love.

*

recently, there have been times i bit my tongue
to keep the words from slipping out
from behind their holding cages and bars
but there were also times when i ran my mouth
let the words leap and bound from the playground
of my mouth – and i wish i could balance it well
but for every person who tells me i’m mysterious,
there’s another who tells me i overshare

and it’s okay that i’m not who i thought i’d be
at least i’m no better and no worse
than who i was supposed to be and who i am
battling myself when i should take a break
which one of me is right? after all,
there was never a sheet of paper so thin
that it didn’t have two sides.

~ PatBunny